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Sean Corfield's avatar

When I was a teenager, I had long hair and was very late to develop any facial hair so, with my somewhat ambiguous name, I was often misgendered. It didn't bother me -- I just thought it was kind of weird/funny that people "couldn't tell" (but it bothered my mother a _lot_!). My wife was also misgendered a lot as a teenager, because she has a name mostly used for boys, has worn T shirt & jeans all her life, and had short hair back then (and never wore makeup). She still gets a lot of mail addressed to "Mr." because of her first name. I've known transgender friends and colleagues for over thirty years, and my wife has known intersex friends for the same period of time, and transgender friends for over twenty years, so it's all been "normal" for us for a very long time. I find it so bizarre when I hear anyone talk about all this "gender stuff" as if it's all a recent change in society... I guess a lot of people just don't pay attention -- and then they don't like (perceived) change.

Grace Ann Hansen's avatar

Reading this from Sioux Falls, South Dakota, where strangers seem to have decided I am an ungendering test case rather than a woman buying groceries. The cognitive lag between socialized perception and actual variation is the part of your argument I keep returning to. It shows up as a confusion that gets weaponized, and your distinction lets readers see the mechanism rather than the moral panic. I cited you in a recent essay on the legal landscape; Whipping Girl is still doing heavy lifting twenty years later.

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